Cameron’s fourth anniversary this year was truly special. For four days, we remembered him, we mourned his death and we celebrated his life.
The day before the fifteenth was our day off. We took the boys to Bicentennial Park where we ate watermelon and enjoyed the warmth and sunshine. I watched Rick play with Angus and Pete while Jamie watched me from his pram. It was the perfect way to prepare our hearts for the following day.
On the fifteenth, we met up with my parents at the Memorial Gardens where we spent an hour or more just hanging out together near Cameron’s spot in the gardens. The sun was out and the sky was blue. Mum had brought along a beautiful bunch of flowers from her garden, which touched me immensely. As I bustled about taking photos and attending to the needs of little ones, I could hardly believe that we had two boys running around and another one sitting up in the pram. We were so blessed. This year, Rick explained to Angus that Cameron’s remains were buried next to his plaque. Angus’ response was both swift and curious: “Can we dig?”
On the sixteenth, Rick’s parents joined us at home where we celebrated Cameron’s birthday with a cake, complete with a number 4 candle. Mary had bought three books – one for each of the boys, all of them given in memory of their oldest brother. Angus seemed to actually understand it was Cameron’s birthday, while Pete just happily munched on the cake…
On the seventeenth, Rick and I attended the annual fundraising ball for the Stillbirth Foundation of Australia at the Sydney Hilton. A few of my dearest and oldest friends came along as well, in support of us and to honour Cameron’s memory with us. It was an amazing night, and for me, the most wonderful way of finishing Cameron’s week.
To my little guy: you may not be here, but you are here. Every day. In my mind. In my thoughts. In my heart. In our family.
Four years have only served to strengthen and deepen my love for you.
I love you, Cam.
Happy fourth birthday.