There is a very special photo of Rick and me in Cameron’s album.
We took it ourselves a week or two before Cameron was due.
We’re at home, on the couch.
Rick is wearing his black thermal top under his grey shirt from Kathmandu.
I’m in a singlet, a long cardigan and a comfortable pair of tracksuit pants that I had bought especially for the last few weeks of my pregnancy.
I’m sitting on Rick’s lap and we’re playfully hugging each other.
My tummy is full and round, with Cameron moving about inside.
You can tell we haven’t slept much from the slight shadows under our eyes.
But our eyes: they’re bright and shining.
Our faces are eager and expectant.
We are like two kids about to open a very, very special Christmas present.
Our joy is untarnished and our excitement is pure.
It is truly a special photo.
Sadly, we will never again be like that couple in the photo – expecting their first child with pure joy and excitement.
Even when we are pregnant again with future children, the sadness of Cameron’s death and early departure will always remain with us. It is simply a part of us now.
But though we can never go back to that time in our lives, we will always have this beautiful photo.
A beautiful photo to remind us of the beautiful memories.